I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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