What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
