I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
