i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
