So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
