I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
