I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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