So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
