I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
