3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
