Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
