SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
organizing the empties. That sober.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
