i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
