Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize