we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
