you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
