I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize