dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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