All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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