dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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