we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
