I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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