dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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