we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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