Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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