Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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