Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
