I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
its liver damage thursday
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize