At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
