I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
