glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
