Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
