You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
