she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
