where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
