after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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