Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
