Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
