Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
