Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
