You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
