Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So much rum. So many feels.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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