Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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