The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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