Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
