I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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