Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
