Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
