Do you still have your period?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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