yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
