We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
