i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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