I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
