Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
