walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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