I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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