Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
