It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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