The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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