Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
