But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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