I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
