It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
