i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
zippers are such a cool invention
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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