I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
