Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
