Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
