Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
